It may not be a disease, but it’s certainly an addiction. Once the travel bug has bitten, even the best of us simply cannot yield, unless duct taped to seat after one too many gin and tonics. Once a full on outbreak of frequent flying begins, you may begin to notice a few (or all) of these symptoms- but fear not, you’re not alone.
You’ll know you’re a genuinely frequent traveler when…
Oh God, please let the airline tinker with my flight times so I can ask to move to a different airport, or get a better flight on the later day. That 15 mins really changes things…
You Never Pay For Toiletries Because They’re All Taken From Hotels Or Amenity Kits…
Only the finest moisturizers, shampoos and scrubs, please. When it’s free you’ve just got to take it! Plus, good market research- right? #skinproductexpert
You’ve Turned Off All Fraud Warnings On Your Credit Card…
Yes, that purchase in Cairo really was me and yes, the one in London just a couple hours later really was me too. Just leave it off so we can keep moving.
You Do More Research About Airplane Seats And Lounges Than Your Destination…
We’ll figure it out when we get there! You’ve now read your 10th new blog looking up flight review, and could easily Jason Bourne it to the airport lounge. Knowledge is power, right?
You’re A Member Of Frequent Flyer Programs From Airlines You’ve Never Ever Flown…
Ah yes, that Indonesian based airline may really come in handy one day, even though I’ve never been to Indonesia let alone flown on one of their planes. And yes, I have been ; )
All you need is a pair of sweats and a goodie to fly, but those amenity kits may really may amount to something one day, you just wait. Amenity kits are the collectible, obsessive habit we just can’t put down. Especially those mini suitcase ones…
Your Airline Miles Are Organized Better Than Your Expense Reports…
Who’s going to remember that extra cheeseburger? Miles are the key to more travel and if anyone messes with our spreadsheets we’re going to beat them with a stapler! You probably even automated it to calculate your cost per mile or tier point earned…
You Immediately Think Of The Airport Code When Someone Mentions A City…
Ah Dubai, lovely place (immediately thinks DXB, Emirates, First Class, Dom Perignon). Much like a finely tuned computer, we just can’t turn off the #avgeek, even when the so-called “norms” hold a general travel convo.
You Think Flying 1,000 Miles Just To Grab A Deal Isn’t Remotely Abnormal…
You mean people don’t do this? Sure, it’s multiple hours of my life, and I may end up routing back through the exact airport I came from- but the savings man! The savings! Come on! If you haven’t done this, you’re either enviably rich, or you’re not quite there yet.
You Care More About The Name On Your Ticket Matching Your Frequent Flyer Account Than Your Passport…
Border control agents will figure it out, but my goodness I’ll be mad if dropping the middle initial delays my miles being credited. We’ve got deadlines over here. Award space is rare. Hot tip never throw away a boarding pass until your miles have posted.
That’s right, you went five hours out of your way, adding a connection to your itinerary- just to sip Dom Perignon instead of Veuve Cliquot, or Krug 2004 instead of Krug – or champagne, instead of prosecco. Fair play, you can’t help yourself.
You Prefer Airport Hotels To Similarly Priced Five Star City Hotels, Because…
Runway views are so much more instaworthy to an #avgeek than a skyline. It could be the #avgeek plane views, or maybe it’s just the feeling of being near the terminal, but why bother actually going into a city when you can just pay the same amount at the airport. I don’t agree with this, but I feel you..
You Can’t Even Pretend To Smile When Amateurs Delay The Security Lane…
Being polite? Come on, we’ve got places to be. You never should’ve worn that fur coat, or the boots with the fur, or the belt with the jingles- and why do you have three iPads anyway! Here’s an etiquette guide to show your friends who can’t yet relate to this post…
You Could Easily Lead The In Flight Safety Briefing, On Any Airline…
Hello again, Sir Michael Cain. Even when we’re not flying- we’re sucked in like moth to flame when a new airline safety video rolls out. And when we are, we’ve heard it so many times we could probably play the score…
Your Life Is Always Neatly Packed Into A Carry On Roller Bag…
Closets are for hiding holiday presents. When there’s a deal, it’s better to have your trusty roller sitting right by the door, just like a puppy dog- ready for your next adventure. When you travel this much, there’s really never a point in unpacking, is there?
Great job..
How about:
Your friends and family start making excuses for you because you “travel so much”.
You never have to buy pajamas.
You have TSA Precheck, Global Entry and CLEAR to avoid waiting in lines but you get mad when an airport doesn’t feature all of them.
You fly through cities on much longer routes because you need the ….(segments miles, EQMs, etc.)
You no longer have to look on Seatguru for the best seats on a given aircraft.
omg so true. i hit everything on this list except the one about staying at airport hotels. The only types of planes that really catches my eyes these days are those ultra obscure Ilyushins and Antonovs that you hardly ever see outside of the former-Eastern-bloc nations.
No, you’re not a frequent flyer, you’re a sad poseur if you do/care about such things
Lol damn someones salty AF.
Who pissed on your umbrella?
Greta! Is that you?
I would add:
1. Your friends ask you where to stay / what to see when they are planning their vacations.
2. FAs, GAs, and hotel staff call you by name without looking at your reservation information.
3. You recognize your flight crew going through security
4. You accidentally leave your bluetooth earpiece in the seatback pocket and you find it again the following week when you are on the same flight.
Although I am not in the same league with many of you, I loved this list and went “oh, yeah – that’s me on a bunch”, but I really love Gizmosdad’s add-ons as well as some of the others.
Gizmosdad’s answers:
1) Oh yeah, all the time. Sometimes my TA (for leisure – not business trips) gets info and recommendations from me.
2) I usually go to different places all of the time, but this summer I worked a bunch in Chicago and yes, they started to call me by name before checking the reservation.
3) Haven’t gotten there yet – again too many different places and schedules.
4) Now that is just plane (pun on purpose) sad. Sorry.
This was such a cool article to read my partner is airmile crazy and we had such a laugh reading it. Thank you so much and it’s so true. You know due to the craziness we have been to some amazing places in the world.
Um…… tick, tick, tick…. we will collect 52 business and first amenities kits this year and will keep having to find people to give them to, and I’ve just culled our collection of airline pyjamas which have their own shelf
Thanks for sharing these frequent flyer tips.
Gilbert – Thanks for the chuckles. Missed you in LHR the other day. I especially liked the seat guru one. Every once in a while I double check seat guru only to find out I was right the first time. I do not, however keep amenity kits &pj’s. Still hanging out in Edinburgh and London thanks to you. Cheers!!
One little thing….where we are we ask “Who peed in your Wheaties?”.
In addition to the above, I also fly at a less convenient time simply to be on a better plane or to have a better chance at getting a free upgrade.
When TSA Precheck appears on all your boarding passes and you don’t know why.
yes, I need the help of a professional for selling my airline miles. can you help me in selling my frequent flyer. I hope you will. Please give a quick response to my request. thanks for the post!!
These all made me smile hehe thanks!!
When a friend tells you about their flight delay and you can tell them if they’re titled to compensation and how much without even any further research?
guilty of all of the above.
the shampoo toiletries and airline amenity kit really hits. i have drawers full of kits, and multiple shoeboxes full of le labo, bliss, purple water, aqua di parma. etc.
When you buy make-up, you buy two (if lipstick) or a second mini one (foundation) to put in your always-packed travel toiletries bag.
And the flight crew recognise you.
1. You travel with a special “kit” to block out all of the hotel room light-leaks (around doors, windows, in-room device LEDs),
2. You pack your own clothes hangars (because there are never enough provided by the hotel or they are inadequate).
3. You’ve saved enough per diem that you finally splurge on over-the-ear noise cancelling headphones.
4. You can binge watch an entire season of a Netflix show during your flights in only a week.
5. You cross paths with other business travelers you’ve become acquainted with at many of the same airports and hotels.
Two more for the list:
1) People ask you for miles because they know you have millions of them.
2) Lounge gate keepers / airport bartenders / service people recognize you and remember your name / what you drink / how you like to be served.
You travel with a stuck-in-airport kit. Even when you weren’t planning to stay overnight. you always have a set of noise cancelling earphones on you… somewhere. Plus eye masks hidden in pockets of most of your jackets or coats. You would never travel anywhere without a backup battery pack you can charge up to make sure you can keep all your equipment going in case of delays.
You always know what your lounge options are at any airport you touch.
You know EU261 without looking it up if you travel to or from Europe.