What Not To Wear – To The Airport…

Just put it in your carry on and wait to look cool – after security…

Like the catwalks of Milan, London, Paris and Tokyo – the airport is a cruel place for fashion. Critics are everywhere, the stakes are high and virtually everyone is fifty shades of miserable. But if you want to break the mold, enjoying your flight while dazzling the critics, there are fashion do’s and some real fashion DONT’S.

Boots

Lace up or buckle? Who cares. You’re already annoying your fellow airport dwellers. Boots require priceless, wasted seconds prepping them for donning or un donning. Additionally, they’re usually clad with metal – sure to set off any detector. You’ve already failed. Pack em.

Obscene Logos

Yes, those “FBI: Female Body Inspector” t-shirts are a laugh a minute, said no one ever. Wearing clothes with provocative profanity, or drug logos is going to ensure additional screening, simply because you have failed the common sense test. Plus, passengers will think you’re a moron. Save that gear for your destination – where everyone will assume you’re a moron- thanks to your ironic taste in fashion.

Belts

Those things you wheeled into the airport or carry over your shoulder? That’s where your belt should be. Once you’re through security, lace that bad boy up, but until you avoid the “beep” you will just make enemies by wearing your belt. It’s impossible to look cool going through security anyway.

Layers On Layers

Planes can never be the right temperature, and yes, they’ll always be too hot – or too cold- but that doesn’t give you the right. Layers must be taken off for security, so layers waste time at security. Get down to the bare essentials and then assess the consummately imperfect temperature situation once on board. It’s what carry on baggage is for, other than headphones.

Metal Jewelery

Since virtually all jewelry is made out of some non to semi to precious metal, we could just say don’t wear jewelry. Much like your belt, it should be tucked into a purse, bag or suitcase – ready to delight the critics on the other side of the metal detectors. Just not before. We’ve got places to go.

Extra Baggy Clothes

Now don’t get us wrong. Stretchy jeans, sweatshirts and other comfy clothes make flights so much better. BUT – if you go too baggy, you’re guaranteed to get a pat down. Extra baggy clothes create more opportunity for concealment and thus more chance of getting flagged. Stay comfy, but not 90’s boy band video comfy.

Flip Flops

Fact: socks with sandals have never ever looked good. Second fact: if you wear sandals and don’t want to wear them with socks – your feet will touch the bare floor of the airport at some point. Also, people are ok with shoes off on the plane, but science has proven 89% of people say no to socks off. So you’re already offending 89% of travelers.

Cargo Pants

All those pockets, all those zippers – you’re just bound to forget something. Plus, all that metal. Cargo pants are great to travel in, but they’re all but guaranteed to slow you down. With that in mind, stick to the advice rampant across this post, wear something easy through security and then get fashioned out at the easy end of the journey.